IF YOU REALLY LOVED ME

"If you really loved me...," has so many hidden implications.

Lin stepped aside invitingly, eyes sparkling, and smiled happily. She spoke..."Matthew, love is wonderful, ya know, but right now I'm hungry, so feed me and I'll make you proud to be a man!   If you really loved me you'd do that."

"Uh-oh" I thought, but without skipping a beat I took my little feminine package into my arms. Pulling her close and cradling her form, I began to kiss softly her neck and ears. She became wild with desire. Or so I thought.

"So what's for dinner?" Lin inquired. "I'm famished."

"You will be my dinner tonight," I said, momentarily forgetting about the Seduction Dinner I promised to prepare.

"What?!"

"Oh yeah, ok,...alright, I forgot for a second....hmmm, let's see. First of all I thought we'd start dinner with... another kiss!"

I lunged toward Lin to plant one, but at the last moment she moved away, and I bumped my head into the wall behind her.

Laughing now, Lin shakes her head and rolls her eyes. Her one word response, "Men!" says it all.

"C'mon baby, one more kiss."

"Matthew, is that your imported or domestic whine?"

"Great line" I thought to myself. `If I don't feed her really soon, I surely won't be partaking in any dessert, `if ya know what I mean...'

"Touché sweetie, you win...this time. But later on I will have my way with you," I said, trying to salvage my boyish pride. "You can have as much as you want at Matthew's Love Buffet," I boasted, now posing confidently.

"Cook, putz!"

"Ok, tonight we'll be dining to the hypnotic and dreamlike soundtrack entitled `The Film of My Love' which I composed especially for this occasion. Disregard the guy with the video camera; he's here to capture our evening for posterity. Just act natural."

"Natural? You want me to act natural?!"

"Do I detect a little discomfort here, Lin? Don't worry doll, if you spit-up or something we'll just keep on rolling; I have some great editing software."

"How soothing..."

Anyway, here is the evening's menu; Prawns stuffed with a honey-mustard artichoke heart filling. That'll be our first course. Followed by a sinfully rich roasted sesame, spinach and leek tart. The main course is Crabmeat Souffle. How does that sound?"

"Whoa, now I remember why I like you so much," Lin said. "What's for dessert?"

"Matthew's Famous Stuffed & Dipped Strawberries."

"Yummy! You say they're stuffed? With what?"

"Toasted coconut, whipped cream, peanut butter, and marshmallow cream. Then they're dipped into chocolate."

"Ooohhh, sounds sexy! What can I do to show my appreciation?"

"That'll come later", I said. "I believe there is a connection between the way a person eats and the way they make love. Wouldn't you agree?"

Her one word response, "Men!" says it all...